Damn these 31 years!

I know I haven't been updating, but I figured I owed it to the blogging community to blog today.

I'm 31 years old.

31.

Jeez.

No longer in the realm of even considering the possibility of the idea of being childish or foolish. Responsibilities abound and I must confront them.

Don't take me wrong, I've never been one to shy away from responsibilities, on the contrary, I've normally been one to face them head on.

But now, I can't consider childishness as part of my make-up.

I must let go of many things that I have held on to until now. My comic book collection will go to Frankie, definitively. My foolish desktop (showing Lex Luthor in the new Superman movie) will be replaced by a more somber one (no idea which one yet).

And I definitely have to do something about fixing up my life. I now have an extremely respectable job, money in the bank, I'm up to date on all my bills, and I've even bought myself new clothes. Love life? Nope.

Not long ago I wrote that I would deny myself a love life, then not long after that I was searching desperately.

Time to grow up.

No more stupidly Chasing Amy.

Time to face the fact that if it doesn't come to me, it doesn't come. But not to go nuts looking, and ruining myself and my heart for it.

So here I am 31 years old and what can I say that I have?

Alot, thankfully.

A wonderful son who loves me, and who I love more than I could ever imagine possible.

A family who loves me, even though they can be pains in the ass.

A great job, which I'm apparently doing well.

Great friends who care for me deeply.

And what else matters? Not much from my point of view.

Do I have material wealth? Nope, and don't really care.

So....Damn these 31 years? Nope. Thank God for them!

Live, laugh, love. No more can be done, and no more should be done.

Do you like my balls?

I was just chatting with a friend, joking around a little, and she said she likes my balls!

Well, not directly, but she answered in the affirmative when I asked her if she did.

Hehehehe, someone likes my balls.

A pop of the head

Well, preparations are going well.

I left my other job about a week and a half ago. So this past week I've been going about town getting my shit together for my trip.

Also, I've been spending a shitload of time with Frankie. I've got to take advantage of the fact that I've got a lot of free time. He and I have been playing like crazy.

On a more pissed off note, since I left my old job I've been waiting for my ass fucker boss to pay me what he owes me, in comissions as well as my monthly pay. Fucker still hasn't paid me!
So I've been trying to spend as little money as possible, but I'm leaving in a week, and I need to buy some stuff, definitely.

So until he pays me, I'm dimeless. (I always hated the phrase penniless).

Either way, I bought a sport coat, new shoes, some dress shirts, and personal hygiene stuff.

My trip is gonna be amazing. I'm leaving on the 8th, arriving in Dallas on the 9th, staying in an Amerisuites hotel, and coming back on the 20th. This is gonna be soo cool.

I'm just gonna miss Frankie, though, alot. But I have permission to call him every night.

So, I'll be back soon. With more updates on the Amanda & Pablo show :D (you guys guess who Amanda is)

I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!

Well I'm happy as all holy hell!

Night before last I got a call at my mom's place, and I checked the messages! It was from Zonamerica. They wanted me to call them as soon as possible, even though it was 10:30 pm I still called. Ended up talking to the Human Resources Manager.

She had called to offer me the job!! :D

She explained all the benefits, the pay, and the trip.

I spent close to an hour with her on the phone, and she told me that I'd have to confirm via email the next day. Which I obviously did!

Now I just have to quit my other pathetic job.

Because I know how much of an ass my current boss is, I'm gonna have to bullshit him as to why I'm leaving, since if I tell him I'm leaving for a better job (which pays about double what he pays me) he might very well try and not pay me the money he owes me.

They say the best lies incorporate swatches of the truth in them, so I'm gonna go next week to him and tell him that I have to travel to the US (this is the truth). I'm gonna tell him that my father needs me to go with him on business for at least 2 months (the lie).

This covers my ass in several ways. I would be leaving for family obligations (so he can't say no), and the time period would mean that I can't come back to his offices.

So with my new job, I'm starting on May 8th, I have orientation at the Montevideo offices that morning, and that evening I'm travelling to Dallas, TX for 2 weeks for training. This is a huge opportunity for me!

I decided that I'm not going to be telling Frankie that I'm leaving, since it would probably drive him nuts. So, since I'm going to be able to call him every night, I'm just not going to tell him.

So, I've got about a week left in this dead-end job, and then I'm in preps for my trip :D

More frustration and my boy's sick :(

Frankie has the flu and a slight fever.

That saddens me because he has to stay in bed constantly and not play like he loves to.

So, this morning at 7:45 am, F called me to go and take care of him for a few hours. Just until I would have to come to work.

I said no problem. There is no way that I'm not gonna be there for my boy when he needs me.

I was nervous about the call I would have to make to ZA. But I still packed up and went.

My boy was waiting for me there.

All we did, literally was watch movies and TV while he lay there in bed taking little naps, drinking water and me putting cold cloths on his forehead.

At about 9:30 I called ZA to talk to the HR Manager, who had called me.

MY FUCKING LUCK!!!!

She left for her vacation on Friday night!!! Now I'm even more pissed off at my mom!

Either way I left messages on her cell phone and her work message service, as well as her secretary. I sure hope I haven't lost my opportunity to get out of this shithole. If I did, I'll never forgive my mom.

So here I am at work now. Checking my mom's answering service every 20 mins. Just in case.

Cause I soooooo want to get out of here.

I'm sooooo fucking pissed at my mom!

My mom called me at work tonight.

It was amazing news that she had for me. They called me from ZA already, but I'm not sure why!

Apparently they left a message on her service yesterday, and she just got the message today. So she calls me at work at 7:30 so that I can call them. And no fucking way am I gonna call them from here!

I'm gonna have to wait until Monday morning to call. But it pisses me off sooooo fucking much! Why didn't she check her messages earlier!!!!?????


ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

What an amazing opportunity

I went to the job interview on Wednesday, and it went amazingly well!

I got there about 20 minutes early, just in case. My father always said, better to be an hour early than a minute late for anything.

I waited a few minutes, and then lo and behold I see one of my best friends, Martin (aka Magnus).

We chatted for a few minutes, laughing and generally catching up. And then my interviewer showed up. Apparently, my chatting with a friend caused a good impression.

The interview went great. I started chatting with her about my work and life experience, when she interrupted me and said that she wanted to get her colleagues in on it via telephone conference. No problem with me :D

Between all three of them they explained the job position to me. Basically I'd be general manager of an entire department.

They asked me some pretty in-depth questions as to how I would deal with certain situations. Then they did something unexpected.

They pulled out an itinerary for a trip to Dallas, Texas!

If I get the job they're going to be sending me to Texas for two weeks for my training. Everything Paid!

They're going to be giving me a laptop, phone, access stuff and ID's. And they're taking me to a baseball game!!!!!!

Wow, I was soooo shocked.

Personally I think the interview went amazingly well, and I think I got it, but they did tell me that they would be contacting me next week with the confirmation or denial.

I do hope they call!

Old McDonald had a farm...with a huge pool

Frankie and I went swimming on Saturday.

We had an absolute blast. To be honest that's the first time we've gone swimming in at least 2 years. And he took to it just like his old man!

I used to be an avid swimmer in my youth. Oh woe is me, my days of youth are long past! When I was in High School, I was part of the Swim Team. I was actually really good, since I could hold my breath for the 50m freestyle swim, gaining a second or two that everyone else would lose during the race.

My son apparently loves the water too! When we got there he was hyped and just jumped in, luckily I was already in the water, because we would have had problems since he didn't have his floater on yet.

We put his floater on, and he just started jumping in and out, no fear! He also let go of me at one point and just started trying to kick his way through the water, but he was vertical. I finally told him to make as if he were flying, and he got the hang of it.

We were dead tired by the time we were finished. I took him to his home and I went home as well.

I had planned to meet up with Alejandra, but that fizzled out. Apparently she had to take care of her kids. I don't mind that at all.

So I just slept Saturday night.

Sunday morning, I woke up to the phone ringing. It was Frankie :D

He wanted me to go pick him up and take him to the zoo.

So that's exactly what I did!

It was open this time, thankfully, and we had a great time. The zoo here isn't huge, but it has a nice variety of animals. Lions, tigers, jaguars, pumas, an elephant, hyenas, monkeys, birds, even some seals. We had a great time, and Frankie especially loved the Lion and the seals.

He kept imitating them all through our visit.

I had a seriously great time with him.

On another note, I got the call from Zonamerica. They actually called on Friday, but my mom gave me the message on Sunday.

So yesterday morning, I called, and I've got the interview with the Texans tomorrow at 2pm.

I'm gonna call in sick here at work, so that I won't miss this incredible opportunity.

Wish me luck!

Everything got Fucked up at work

It was a shitstorm today.

A co-worker resigned!

Sasha, a very pleasing lady, decided to resign today because of a lack of job security.

While working on our sales, our Database decided to die on us, so our boss switched us over to another campaign focused on Mortgages.

This is a seriously shitty campaign to work with. And believe me I tried my best.

But, no training, no practice, hell not even a good pitch to try to get leads!

So after a few hours of working on this campaign, the office supervisor, Shirley, called us into her office.

Apparently she was displeased with the lack of enthusiasm with which we were facing this campaign.

No shit Sherlock! We were pissed off!

Well, Sasha was pissed off enough to decide that she had had enough of foolishness here at work. Our lead database gets shittier and shittier every day, there is no movement to improve the work area, as was promised a month ago, and now they get pissed off because we're not enthusiastic about a switch of campaigns, without training???

She said "I resign" and walked out.

I applaud her, honestly I do. And if I had had confirmation from Zonamerica about that job, I would have walked out with her.

I wish Sasha all the best in her future endeavours and hope she finds what she's looking for in work and life.

A blast from the past

I got an MSN message today from an unexpected person.

A woman I knew, Alejandra, MSN'd me today. Alejandra and I knew each other about 3 years ago.

My marriage was on severe rocks, I was severely depressed, and she was a good friend. Her marriage was also on the rocks, and I figure I was a form of support for her at that time.

Did we have a romantic relationship? No, not really. We tried having a sexual one, but that didn't work all that well either. So we just stayed friends.

The last time I talked to her was about 2 months before I left Uruguay last year. About a month before that last conversation she admitted to me that she was in love with me, and wanted to pursue a romantic and sexual relationship with me.

At the time I was seriously fucked up in the head because of F. So I turned her down. Then came our last conversation. I wanted her to know that I still considered her a close friend, and she pretty much told me to fuck off. I didn't blame her, but it did hurt.

We hadn't talked at all since I got back, I didn't even have her number, but she was on my MSN list.

Then a message from her appears. We chatted for a while, catching up. And apparently she's still interested in me!

Will this work? Will I even try?

I don't know, but I guess I owe it to myself to try.

The last time I was confused about F, now I'm not confused.

I'm not in a relationship with Betty, at all. She's history. And I have no possibilities with Veronica. So why not?

I think I'll call her tomorrow.

Waiting and waiting

Well I'm still waiting for Zonamerica to call.

The situation here at work is getting unbearable.

It's not so much who I'm working with, but the work situation is getting extremely difficult to bear with. Our leads for sales are being reduced in quantity, which means that we'll have less sales each day. I was hoping to reach 61 sales, so I could have 4% in comissions, but right now I'm just hoping that I'll reach 41!

So hopefully Zonamerica will call and offer me that fucking job!!!!

On another note, I talked to Frankie this morning, he was sick. So he won't be going to school until he gets better.

It's a bummer, but it happens.

Yesterday kerflutzed

I spent yesterday with Frankie.

I had promised him we'd go to the Zoo, and I took him there.

But once we got there the doors were shut. It was fucking closed!!!

Apparently because of some municipal elections, they had closed down all official buildings and centers, including the Zoo.

Frankie was sooo bummed out, but I was even more bummed out. I actually cried my head off, because I had promised him. He hugged me and said "Don't cry Papa, we can go to the Park"

Which we did.

It was fun, and then we went to my mom's place so Frankie could spend some time with her.

On another note, my dad and I went to Atlantida yesterday, where he has his summer home.

It's no longer summer here, but we had a nice barbecue and talked a bit.

We would have loved to take Frankie, but when we went to pick him up, he was already eating a barbecue and would soon take his nap.

Either way it was a nice time.

PAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I got paid my comissions and I'm going to F's house to pay her.

You have no idea how giddy I am!

Finally to be economically free of that @&$E@#$@#

SHIT FUCK! It had better happen!

Ok, today's been on and off.

This morning I had an interview at Zonamerica. That's the Free Zone here, for a company called Sabre.

If I get the job that they're offering, I'd be making more money, and I'd get more benefits. This was apparently a preliminary interview. There had been 700 people on the first list, then it was cut down to 6. We 6 were given a questionnaire to answer, which we did. Of the 6 of us, I'm the only one with Call Center experience, and the only one with native English.

I think I'll do fairly well :D

Well, on another note. I'm sooooooo fucking screwed today if they don't pay my comissions!

F is supposed to come by today to pick up her money, and if they don't pay, I'm seriously screwed.

Hopefully it'll happen.

I hate being in hock to my ex.

This is turning out to be a weird day

I took Frankie to school today. It was horrible!

He cried so much I felt as if my heart were breaking. He kept saying "Don't go to work Papa, please don't go!"

I finally figured out that he was scared that I was going to go back to Canada to work. My poor baby boy is scared that I'll leave him again.

I reassured him that I wouldn't and he felt better.

After that I met with F and we went to talk to the school psychologist. We explained our situation, and we explained all the problems Frankie's been having because of it. We were able to get alot of things straight thanks to that meeting.

After that I got to work and found my boss sitting on a desk in front of the office. Apparently he was waiting for one of my co-workers.

Once that co-worker arrived (15 mins late), my boss went up to him and fired him. Apparently this guy is constantly late, and my boss had had it with him.

Personally I think my boss went overboard, but it's his company.

Luckily I never get here late, to be honest, I'm usually about an hour early every day.

This old life of mine...

Well, F lent me money last night.

A total of U$S 36. I'll have to pay this back with my comissions as well as more money I owe to her for Frankie's schooling.

With the money that F lent me I paid off the stupid $800 (eight hundred mother fucking uruguayan pesos) that I owed. That was a relief, but now I have to think about paying F back. Oh well, when that happens I'll be happier.

On another note, my boss eliminated Internet and MSN Access for our cubicles. This was done, apparently because one of the workers was checking out too much porn and chating with her friends all the time!!

That pisses me off, but Boss man does whatever he wants.

Well, off to work, hopefully I'll take Frankie to school tomorrow.

Don't try this at home!

I did something just now that I'm sure I'll regret for the rest of my life.

I asked F for a loan.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Knowing her, she'll hold it over me for the rest of my life.

I was supposed to get paid my comissions today. But of course I'm me, so of course I didn't. My boss got into a fight with his secretary, and she stormed out with the comissions. He promised us that we're gonna get paid tomorrow, but I have to pay my grandmother and my mother tonight, and no excuses will serve.

I pondered and pondered, and suffered, and suffered some more. Then I called the only person that I know, who has money, and who wouldn't ask questions, and who isn't my family (anymore). I have a couple of friends, who would gladly lend me the money, but they don't have any to lend. And besides, I need the money by the time I get home, cause if not, I ain't sleeping at home.

So I called her.

And believe me it was the last thing I wanted to do.

I already owe her money for Frankie's school payments, but that is justifiable. This, I'm sorry to say is not.

FUCK!

So, after work, I'm going over to her place to pick up the money. And it's a stupid measly 800 pesos, which translates to U$S 34, approximately. Stupid motherfucking money. At least I get the benefit of seeing my son again for a couple of minutes. I love seeing my son, but asking F for money but believe me, I didn't want to do that.

Wish me luck.

Trying to get through the month

I was supposed to be paid my comissions yesterday. I'm kinda pissed that I wasn't.

There are a shitload of things I have to pay, and those damned U$S 272 will really help me out, but if my boss doesn't pay me, I can't pay my debts.

I owe F for Frankie's school costs, I owe my grandmother (who came back from Canada on Saturday). I owe my mom, and I owe two colleagues.

I'm still not sure how I should move forward, workwise I mean.

The job is great, the people are really nice here, and the ambiance is really good, aside from the damned moron sitting next to me. But this payment thing really has me considering.

You see, I was interviewed for a job at Zonamerica last month. They pay U$S 550 minimum, for people with English skills and Call center experience. But I didn't take it because I saw an incredible earning potential here. For February (being a very lazy ass) between Salary and Comissions, I made a total of U$S 492.

That means that this month, busting some ass, I should be able to reach U$S 600 easily. But the boss is slow on paying us. At Zonamerica, I would be a drone, so to speak, working a 9-5 job, but I'd get paid on time, every month, without hesitations.

It truly makes me consider my working situation.

He'd better pay us today, 'cause I really need that money. Or else I won't be able to go home tonight!

That's how pissed my grandmother would be.

I know, I know, money problems always arise with me and her. I think it's an immutable law of the universe.

ARRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Does anyone know the number for an assasin?

I'm really getting fed up with the moron sitting beside me.

She keeps saying the stupidest things, and the worst part is, she has no idea how stupid they are.

It's very tiresome, and annoying. I'm actually considering leaving this job because of the need to work with this damned bitch.

Vampirella, in Canada, had nothing on this idiot.

FUCK!

A history of the women I've cared for

I was reminiscing the other day about the women that I've cared for in my life.

It's a pretty damned long list.

You see, I fall in "like" easily, falling in love is a little tougher. To be honest I've only ever loved three women in my life.

So as I thought to myself how many women I've cared for, I also thought that it would make for an interesting, and long, post.

To protect the innocent, I will only give their first names with their last name's initial.

LIKES
Janet N.
Jessica F.
Ana L.
Danita V.
Anne F.
Amanda M.
Filomena Z.
Pauline B.
Sabrina S.
Andrea B.
Magdalena D.
Leslie F.
Nancy N.
Maria Angelica F.
Lisa R.
Sally M.
Tanya P.

LOVES
Tania M.
Fabiana M.
Amanda S.

Please take into account that the girls I liked did not necessarily like me back. And to be honest, I never dated any girl until I started dating my first love Tania M.

I hope to love again, I hope to like again. But who knows.

I feel like I wanna break something!

I just got back from my break, and coming up in the elevator was the bane of my existence.

My ex-wife's boyfriend. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I just feel sooooooo fucking frustrated. There he was alone, and all I wanted to do was rip his throat out. All I could do was say hi, and talk to him about how my son was doing.


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I could talk to Cowgirl about it, but she won't be on until later.

I just feel sooooo damned useless.

A new school for my progeny, and other stuff

Frankie is starting a new school tomorrow.

It's called Colegio Santa Maria. He's got a wonderful little red overcoat uniform. F and I went to the parent's meeting today. It was a nice little get-together so that we could meet the children's teachers.

Frankie is going to have a heck of a lot of fun. I'm taking him tomorrow, but because of my work schedule I won't be able to pick him up.

In other news. The calculation's for this month's salary and comissions came in. For February I was able to achieve 42 sales giving me a total of U$S 272 in comission, more than doubling my salary. So I've been leaping for joy :D

Since my grandma is in Canada, my grandfather and I are on our own. At least until the end of the month. We've been getting along fairly well, no serious outbursts, nothing new there. But until my grandma gets back, my apartment search is on hold. I just don't feel comfortable leaving my grandpa alone for now.

More of an update post, I know. But still a post.

Being devilish ... bwahahahahahahahahaha!

I'm seriously bored at work today.

Not just your regular lazy-day boredom, but serious staring at how my armhair grows boredom.

So I decided to be a little devilish and play a slight prank on Vampirella Jr. (as you may recall, Vampirella was a serious bitch in Canada who worked with me, well, Vampirella Jr [VJ for short] is a seriously stupid ass bitch who works with me here in Uruguay).

Just to screw around with her a bit, I've been signing in with her MSN login everytime she logs in. She uses a very standard numeric password, so it's extremely easy.

I know I shouldn't, but it's fun as all holy hell. HEHEHEHEHE!

Well, if anyone knows of any other ways to eliminate my boredom, please do tell.

My soul....hmmmmm

You Are a Newborn Soul

You are tolerant, accepting, and willing to give anyone a chance. On the flip side, you're easy to read and easily influenced by others. You have a fresh perspective on life, and you can be very creative. Noconformist and nontraditional, you've never met anyone who's like you. Inventive and artistic, you like to be a trendsetter. You have an upbeat spirit and you like almost everything. You make friends easily and often have long standing friendships. Implusive and trusting, you fall in love a little too easily. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

A choice I've made

I was inspired by a regrettably short conversation I had with my best friend Cowgirl last night.

I've made a choice.

I'm going to break it off with Betty.

Why am I going to do this you may ask?

Simple, or maybe not so simple. I want to be with someone who desires to be with me. I want to be with someone who isn't hesitant about our relationship. I want to be with someone who isn't bothered by the fact that I may be 2 years younger or older than she is (in Betty's case, I'm two years younger, which in my opinion is nothing), someone who won't want to leave me if I've grown a goatee.

This does not mean that I am going for Veronica. To be honest, I don't even know if I have a chance with her. But it does mean that I will try to find someone who is right for me. Someone who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her.

This is a simple matter of me looking for what I truly want, and not conforming to what comes at me first. Is this a selfish point of view? Perhaps, perhaps not. But aren't we all selfish when it comes to looking for love?

Once we're in love, and in a relationship, then the selfishness ends. Must end. But up until then, we search for the person we want to be with, not just the first one that shows up.

I guess I'll have to search for a while.

This weekend sucked ass!

The first part of Saturday was nice. Fabiana called me and asked me if I wanted to go with her and Frankie to pick up his school uniform. Of course I said yes.

I met them downtown, which is only about 5 blocks from where I work. There we went into the shop where they sell his school uniform. It's a gorgeous outfit. There's a dark red overcoat (actually thinner than an overcoat, here it's called a Tunica). And under that he wears a sports outfit. Blue and white track pants with a t-shirt of the same colour.

He seemed to like his uniform. I thought it was gorgeous.

After that we went for a walk on the main street of Montevideo, 18 de Julio. Frankie was in the mood for Hot Dogs, so we went to a restaurant that specializes in Hot Dogs. Frankie ate 4.

Finally Fabiana told me that Frankie wanted to spend the day with me and possibly the night. I loved the idea, so I told her of course. I took Frankie to my grandparent's place, and there I found Hell on Earth.

My Grandmother is having problems with her bank account in Canada (my suspicion is that the problem that has arisen is that my uncle has emptied her bank account). So she's travelling to Canada today to try and fix whatever happened. The problem is that both my Grandmother and Grandfather were fighting like mad dogs.

I didn't like the idea of Frankie being in that environment. So later that night I took him back to his Mom's place. I seriously wanted to stay with Frankie, and we had had a nice day together. Went to McDonald's, went to the park, also went for a walk on the beach. Very nice, and he loved it. But I took him to his home. And that's when my night went to shit.

After I dropped Frankie off at home, I got a call from one of my work mates, Bert. He wanted to go for some beer and pool. I thought it was a great idea, but I didn't want to spend too much money, since I had just gotten paid, and I need to pay some bills.

I have no idea, to be honest, what happened, but we got sooooo drunk. Too much beer. Next thing I know we're at this whore-house. Bert wanted to get laid. I just wanted to go to sleep. So while he was waiting for the next available hooker, we kept drinking.

It was a total fuck up. I spent all of my money that night!

I'm so fucking pissed at myself for being such an idiot.

Shit.

I got home at noon on Sunday, with a serious fucking hangover, and almost no money. And my grandparents were still fighting.

I slept for about 7 hours, and woke up with a worse hangover. Took a shower, and popped some Tylenol.

I'm still pissed at myself. It's not like I blew thousands of dollars, it was U$S70. But still, here in Uruguay, that's some nice change. And I blew it all on beer and pool. Not even a shitty ass hooker.

Shit.

Target Sales

I have to try to make 3 sales a day.

That's what my boss told me yesterday in a meeting. 3 sales per day is the objective, and we've been averaging 1 or 2 sales per day.

The campaign we're working on is sales for an online pharmaceutical company in the US. My first 9 days on the job I made 19 sales, and considering that I had never worked in telemarketing before, that was a pretty decent level. But, as of yesterday I've only made 27 sales.

Why haven't I made our target sales? I could blame the annoying bitch who sits next to me, to whom I had to explain 5 times (YES! 5 times!!!) how to use the mouse. I could blame the shitty database we have, which is already repeating names. I could blame my constant preocupation with finding a new place to live. But, no I won't. I'm to blame, noone else. I've been slacking. I have to admit that to myself and here, even if I won't admit it anywhere else. Instead of pushing the sales, I've been lazy. I guess I don't feel comfortable selling.

I know the psychology of sales fairly well, and I'm fairly convincing with people. But even so I haven't really been trying.

So last night after getting home. I lay in bed for maybe 2 hours just staring at the ceiling. I focused my mind, and told myself that today I will be making 7 sales, and that will be my minimum for the last few days of this month.

This is not a goal, this is a fact.

I will leave aside my laziness, my lack of focus, and make these 7 sales per day, so that my boss will know that I can do this. I will do this.

There is no doubt in my mind.

Everything costs money...

How could we ever survive without some form of currency these days?

This question pops into my head constantly these days since I ran out of cash. I got paid last about a week and a half ago the days that I worked in January, which weren't many. But the money is already gone.

I spent most of it last Saturday with Frankie (and didn't mind doing that one bit). I also spent quite a bit on my Saturday night date with Betty, which did leave me thinking as to why.

But since Monday I've been out of cash, and trying to survive without it. It's not an extremely difficult task for me, since food and board are provided to me by my grandmother. But transport is troublesome without money.

Luckily my grandparent's place is only about 20 blocks from my workplace, so I walk to and fro.

But still, if I wanted to buy a Coke, for example, it would be out of my league. Or even a bag of chips for that matter.

So I started thinking, how would we ever survive in this world without some form of currency, hard cash. Would we slip back to the days of bartering? Would we fall into anarchistic tendencies, taking whatever we needed from wherever we found it? This may seem a little extreme, but it makes you wonder.

Consider this...The basic necessities of life are Food, a roof over our heads and clothes. Someone to share this with is obviously desired, but not an absolute necessity. But to get all of these basic necessities in today's society, requires money. So does that make money a more important necessity than food?

We need money to survive. We need money to thrive. We need money, period.

Every one of us works with the supposition that we do so so that we will be able to provide ourselves or our families with those basic necessities, but in reality, we're working to achieve the economic possibility of providing those basic necessities. Money comes first.

I have a friend here at work who currently has no family. He's living in a low budget boarding house, where he lives with 4 other guys in one single room. If, God forbid, he didn't have money to pay for his food and boarding, he wouldn't have the support that I do. He doesn't have a grandmother who will have a hot plate of food waiting for him everytime he gets home. If he doesn't have the money to pay for his boarding, he won't have a place to sleep. This makes the necessity of money all the more important for him.

So, how could we survive? Many people obviously do. But it would be through tremendous hardship.

I don't know if I'm strong enough to survive that way. And that's a scary thought.

Enjoying Frankie & Carnaval!

What a great time I had on Saturday!

Seriously, Saturday was an amazing time for me.

I decided to go pick Frankie up in the morning and take him to the mall. We went for breakfast at McDonald's, I had an Egg McMuffin, while Frankie had Hotcakes with strawberry syrup on them.

Then we went shopping for a couple of toys that I had promised him. He inevitably picks the same toys, so I had to convince him to buy something different. He ended up buying a Spider-Man web shooter glove, and a figure of the Green Goblin. His face was such a wonderful thing to see. Happy and full of joy :D

I asked him at that point what he wanted to do, and he said "Papa let's go see a movie". I was all for that, so I took him to see The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. What an amazing movie!

The story itself is much more for a young adult audience, than a 3 and a half year old child, but Frankie followed the movie perfectly, enjoying it every step of the way. I highly recommend this movie to adults and children alike.

After the movie, Frankie was getting tired, so I took him back home, and he went to take a nap.

I went back to my grandparent's place (couldn't move to a new place that I had found for several foolish and annoying reasons, so I'm still looking) and decided to take a nap myself. I wasn't in bed for more than 10 minutes when the telephone rang. It was Betty (my gf, so to speak, although we haven't defined our relationship in the least).

She called to invite me to a Tablado. Some of you might be wondering, what the heck is that? Well let me give you a breakdown.

During the end of summer season, here in Uruguay, there is a festivity called Carnaval which is the second largest carnival celebration in the world after the Brazilian celebration. The celebration takes place for nearly the entire month before the period of Lent in Uruguay. There are parades, bands, comedians, and costumes consuming the streets at all hours.

There are many different theories of when and where the celebration Carnival originated. The most well known was in Iraq. Iraq had a five-day ritual for the Momo king. The roles of society were switched and one of the lowest members of society would become king for five days. He would then be killed and the people were liberated from all evil. Christian culture has since adapted rituals that occurred before Lent and all of Europe celebrated some type of Carnival big or small. Carnaval in Uruguay is a very important part of the black population, which is very significant. Around the early 1900’s Candombe music, which was created by black slaves in Uruguay became part of the celebration.

Today Carnaval in Uruguay specifically Montevideo month long party. This party is initiated by 2 parades, 1 called El Desfile de Carnaval (The Carnaval Parade) and another called El Desfile de las Llamadas (The Calling Parade). The entire city shuts down for the entire week before the forty days of Lent. Almost 300,000 citizens of Uruguay flock to the capital city to become a part of the tradition every year.

After these 2 parades, there are daily presentations of groups and bands that have performed in each of the parades. These daily presentations are called Tablados (literally meaning Stages, which is where the groups and bands perform). There are several of these groups, these being: Murgas, Comparsas, Lubolos, Humoristas, Parodistas, and Revistas. What you find most at these Tablados are Murgas and Comparsas.

Normally both are musical groups, with strong social and political criticism in their songs. As well as incredible humour. This is not slapstick humour where a pie in the face will make you laugh your ass off, this is political, social, parodist humour.

Saturday night was the first time I had gone to one of these in 20 years. And to be honest, I barely remember the last time.

I quite literally laughed all night, until 3 am, when the show ended. It was absolutely amazing, and I am definitely going to repeat the experience.

After the show, I went to Betty's place, where we talked for a while, and then we went to bed. Literally.

I still don't really know what to think of this woman. I'm attracted to her, but not amazingly attracted, like I am to Veronica. Is it wrong of me to have sex with her when I'm more attracted to another woman?

Am I cheating on Betty just by being attracted to Veronica?

I really don't know. But at least I had fun this weekend :)

An overwhelming feeling of being in an oven...

The heat here is overbearing.

Temperature wise it's not that hot for a Uruguayan summer, only 32º C, but the humidity is at 98% and that's just killer.

I decided to walk to work today, to save on the bus fare, but also to get a bit of excercise. Boy o boy, was that a bad idea!

5 minutes after I left my grandparent's I was drenched in sweat, and considering that it's about a 25 minute walk to work, I was seriously soaked.

The walk over is a nice one, especially on a nice sunny day like this one, but the humidity ruins the enjoyment.

Arriving at work, at the very least there was a nice breeze, which helped. But once I got into the office, holy shit!

It felt at least 5º hotter in the office than it did outside.

Now, here I am sitting in front of my computer, trying to get some sales (I wanna get at least 4 more sales today before I leave), and talking to Veronica.

I just hope I don't melt away before my shift ends.

My heart as it seems to be...

Love is a many splendoured thing, especially for those who are in love.

We walk through our lives with only one hope. To enjoy the company of someone who enjoy's our company. Granted, there are some people in the world who want to be alone, but it is my firm belief that this desire for solitude, is born out of harshness lived. I may be wrong, and I may not be.

I currently find myself in an interesting situation. For the past two or three weeks I have been dating a woman I met here in Uruguay. We get along fairly well, and the sex is good (yes, I'm actually having sex, hell hath frozen over). But I've become attracted to a woman at work. She's a few years younger than I am, and we're just getting to know each other, so I don't know where it could lead, if anywhere. But confusion abounds.

I cannot in all honesty say that I am in love, with either one. That would be foolish of me. But the attraction I feel for the woman at work, whom I will call Veronica, is quite strong. And to be honest, it is a different kind of attraction than what I feel for the woman I've been dating (let's call her Betty).

(I seem to be following a strange Archie Comics theme here)

With Betty, the attraction is solely physical. While with Veronica, I don't know what kind of attraction it is, since I'm just getting to know her.

I'm on the horns of a dillemna. And as my father would say "Watch how you sit on them".

Any thoughts out there?

Either way, I figure the best way to understand love, and the possibility of falling in love again is to know more about how I love. So following the desire to learn more about myself in the matter of love, I followed the suggestion of a friend, and went to Blogthings and decided to find out what my Candy Heart would say. I wasn't too surprised.

Now I leave it for all of you to see.

Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"

You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship.You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you Your flirting style: friendly and sweet What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Happy Valentine's Day to all!

I leave you all with a wonderful quote I found earlier this morning.

It pretty much sums up what I feel regarding love.

"Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it."
--Unknown

My Resolution

And it's a good one.

I know that at the very least one person will be happy!

I've decided that beginning today, and with this post, I will be updating and posting in my blog at the very least once every 2 days.

I miss my blog. I used to post in here daily if not more. But since I arrived in Uruguay, I've been lax with my blog. My best friend has pointed this out to me on several different occasions.

The reasons as to the lack of posts are simple. While I was in Canada, I was inspired. I had things happening to me daily that garnered my creativity in my posts.

Since I arrived here in Uruguay, my life has been rutinary, boring, even depressing. Which has not inspired me to write in my blog.

But now. Even if I have no inspiration, I will seek it out. (And just to keep those of you who actually read my blog interested, I do have some points of inspiration ;-) )

You will be enthralled, you will be amazed, you will be appalled at times as well, but you will be reading me again!

Enjoy!

A miniscule update

Hey all.

Haven't blogged for awhile. There is good reason for that.

First of all Happy New year to all. Hope you enjoyed the end of 2005 and beginning of 2006.

There hasn't been much to blog about, since my life has become a routine of looking for work and not finding it, living with my grandmother and seeing Frankie a couple of times a week.

This last week was really tough since I hadn't seen Frankie at all. I've been helping my grandmother fix the new house she bought, in which I will hopefully not live if I can find work again.

Luckily I made some time yesterday to go pick up Frankie and spend the day with him. Since it's been raining cats and dogs here for a whole week (the weather is seriously fucked up) I took him to one of the malls in Montevideo. Specifically Montevideo Shopping Center (I know, really original name, but it was the first mall to open up here in 1993). While there I took him to McDonald's and he spent at least 4 hours playing in the play area. He had a great time.

I then decided to take him to see a movie. Originally we were going to see The Chronicles of Narnia, but then he saw the poster for Valiant and chose that.

It was a great little movie, about the Carrier Pidgeon service during WWII. Apparently based on true facts, but obviously from the pidgeon perspective. Frankie loved it.

I then took him back to his home and made my way back to my grandma's place.

We had a seriously great time together.

This whole non-work situation has my nerves wracked. I just can't believe I can't get a job. I think I'm going nuts.

I've sent literally dozens of resumés out, but no responses, and that sucks. I'm well qualified for pretty much anything and yet I can't find work. My parents think that I'm over-qualified for work here, since I've worked at IBM, as an English teacher, at an Embassy, at a Call center, as well as other jobs.

I swore yesterday on the bus going home that I am going to find work this week, and find a place to live next week. I HAVE TO!

But everything I want to do depends on my finding work first.

Damn that!

I want to do sooooooo much, but until I find work I can't.

The only thing I can do is not lose hope.