I was watching Superman II last night. I really like the movie, it's really the best of the series of Superman movies so far. They are making a new one, and hopefully that one will be good too. But I was watching that last night, and this morning I finally understood Lois Lane. In one of the last scenes of the movie, Lois is in her office with Clark Kent, and she knows that he's Superman. She tells him how difficult it is for her to love him and know his secret at the same time. Clark tries to console her by trying to tell her that she will eventually find someone else to love. She scoffs at this saying he's a hard act to follow, and saying that when it comes to him she is selfish, and she wants him all to herself.
This morning I finally understand Lois. But I can't be selfish. I just can't. I've told many that they should be selfish in love, saying that people must do whatever feels right for themselves, but I can't do it myself. I can't put my wishes ahead of the wishes of the ones I care for. I just can't, even though I want to.
I will always be a friend to the people I want to be with, it's happened before, it has happened now, and I have no doubt it'll happen again. I guess I'm fated to be the ultimate friend.
Sometimes I wish I were different and I didn't feel this way.
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