It's like a guitar string

The tension in this house is thicker than peanut butter. I know, strange image, but it's true.

Here I am, on the computer chatting with BG and Cowgirl, when she can chat(have to remember she has a young boy and a dumbass husband), and cleaning the house at the same time. My grandmother meantime is cleaning the bathroom with enough bleach to make this apartment seem like an olympic size swimming pool.

We haven't said more than two words to each other since our fight. And honestly I don't have any urge to. I will do my part to help, as I always have, but I am not going to be anyone's bitch slave.

On another note, I'm nervous about tonight. I've got to call Uruguay to talk with my ex. She says that there are things that need to be said. So I'm gonna let her say them. Just thinking about that call makes me shake. What will she say? What will I say? What will my reaction be? God, I wish life were easier.

Ok, on to nicer things.

Last night I had an incredible conversation with Cowgirl. Cowgirl and I have been chatting for about 2 months. Which is kinda interesting considering how we met. The thing is one of her friends hates me, and I mean hate with a vengeance. Therefore, by association, Cow-girl hated me too. One wonderful night I went to a dance bar, and lo and behold I meet Cow-girl in person! Of course she wanted nothing to do with me, but she was civil. Even up to the point of asking me for a smoke. Of course I gave it to her, it was the least I could do.

A few days later, I see her on an internet chat site, and I IM'd her, thanking her for being nice, we've been chatting ever since. She is an amazing woman, I really do like her, but I understand her confusion. Her friend hates me, but she has befriended me. So last night, we got it out in the open, so to speak. We were on MSN and I explained that I did understand her confusion, and her reticence to speak with me. It seems that she felt better about talking with me after that conversation. I have no pretensions of a relationship with this woman, and even if it were possible, I don't know if it would be feasible. But I do not want to lose her friendship. So I gave her a choice, if she felt uncomfortable talking to me she could chose to not talk to me anymore, and I would bear her no ill will (I think those were the exact words I used). But if she did want to keep talking to me, that would be fine too. Personally I hope she choses the latter, which it seems she has, because she's been coming on and off MSN this morning and messaging me. But once again it's her choice.

After this whole emotionally charged situation was over, I talked with BG about it, and she understood. She's a good friend. I'm glad I have a friend that I can be open with. Without judgements. We spoke to each other last night until almost 2:30 am, about a variety of things, but invariably sex and relationships, which is where our conversations normally lead. But what I like most about talking to her, is that there is no fear of anything we say to each other.

I'm glad and very lucky to have such good friends these days.