Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Frustration gives me headaches

I honestly considered packing my shit up today and leaving the fucking country.

I was pissed off at my ex, she started complaining this morning about how I was neglecting my boy and she wanted to take him away from me for good. This hurt so much I was in tears.

I did feel better at the same time because I was talking to my significant other. She makes me smile even with a hello.

But I was so distraught I sent my dad an MSN message saying, "Fuck everything, I'm packing up my stuff and leaving next week, I just want to be with Frankie".

He talked me down (he's good at that) and told me to hold off, cause I was doing a really good thing by being here, paying my bills, buying stuff for my boy. I was doing everything I wanted to do, and to top it all off I fell in love with a wonderful girl (not something I was expecting or even trying to do, but definitely a beautiful thing).

So I feel a bit better now, but my head hurts, and I'm scared to death that I won't see my boy. I did love my ex, I really did, and noone fought harder for she and I to be together than I did, but what kind of person threatens to take away your soul? I don't get it. It just gives me migraines thinking about it.

I hope I'll be able to talk with my special girl, she makes me happy, so happy.

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